tears

'life will be as it does, regardless of whether you are taking it positively or the other side. so it's better to remain cheerful.''

-Ainin aka roomate-
*no wonder she got no mood swings, haha!

Ausmat is now a memory, no longer agony. The final TEE had just passed by, and thank God for that. Now i'm back at home in Kedah, for no reason of staying at the student house. (well actually my mom asked me to go back)

Yesterday (15th nov) was a hard day, for both me and Hafiz. Sending me at Pudu was not a good thing for him to do because all of a sudden no more strong and tough guy in front of me but a vulnerable boy who cried in the public. Which, had instantly brought my tears all out in a blink. All things we'd done together started to pour out of my mind, left me with more tears.

Since the accident that happened to me a month ago, i'd started to treat him badly and always turned to moody mode all of a sudden (for about a week), especially towards him, which i regret so much now. Rejecting to meet him was another reason why all this guilt kept haunting me until the last day of my final exam which was on 13th nov. And seeing him for the first time after a month on the Friday of 13th was sheer bliss. Followed by Saturday and Sunday.

On Sunday afternoon, we watched Michael Jackson: This Is It as no more 2012 tickets left until Monday. By the way, the Michael Jackson's movie was not that bad, both kept saying " Wah hebatnya MJ menari, wah sharpnya dancing dia,wah wah wah" Padahal dua2 tak tau MJ memang selalu je menari camtu haha. Next, we went to Pizza Hut since i demanded of eating the new pizza, crunch something something huh i forgot the name. Yeah well last day before i went back to Kedah, every demand should be followed haha jahat aku. In the end i ate only two slice of the pizza, and forced him to finish the whole pizza for me, ending up with him throwing up later. Again my bad.

Well at 8 pm, we were at Pudu. I started to look for the ticket to Kedah, and finally bought the one at 11 pm. 3 hours of waiting. At the first two hours both were very fine (or pretended to be fine), laughing at jokes and kept teasing each other. Like when he flipped through my magazine i said "you looked so into the mag, dont be so fake" (well i know he doesnt like to read). Besides he said "dont be so kedekut" when i didnt want to go to the washroom just after i knew it was rm0.50 per entry haha. (it's not that i didnt want to enter the washroom at all, i just wanted to wait maybe 10 minutes before boarding the bus so that i didnt have to go there twice) OK i know i'm a little bit kedekut at times.

Later at about 10.30 pm, no more jokes and it was a total silent. He seemed uneasy and i knew what he's thinking, cause i'm thinking the same thing. That's probably be the last day of seeing each other. Suddenly he covered his face with both hands, yet i could still see his wet eyes... 10.50 pm, we walked outside of the building as the bus would be waiting there. It arrived pretty late, around 11.15 pm. And at that moment i knew, this was it, it's time to leave. Walking towards the bus, no more voice heard between us, both were so silent... As soon as reaching the bus's door, i quickly asked for my bag that he was holding. Without hesitating, he straight away handed the bag to me, and said "i will always love you", caused me to burst into tears and said nothing but walked away from him towards the bus.